What is this? What is this?

Story time, with Lorcan.

At group, a few months ago, the session started with Richard gesturing at a sheet of paper, several paints, highlighters, pens, and so on. He said we were welcome to draw whatever we wanted, if we wanted, and either use individual sheets or the main page, and then we'd analyse it. Apparently it's a good outlet if you don't know what you're feeling. Maybe it's a load of crap, but it's fun as hell, and making up what it could mean is interesting.

My first piece was the name 'Lorc -A- Dork' in gold, in the middle of the page. It was a joke from a livechat with Ivan, Taggles (a friend of ours) and some others he knew. I also drew a star, the starfleet symbol, a rainbow, and what was supposed to be the symbol from Teen Wolf, but ended up more like the female reproductive system, much to my friend's amusement. Like so:

As you can see, my art skills are not what they apparently were two years ago. That's not my original representation, but it's pretty much the same. I tried to draw it and failed entirely.

We discussed how my name was clearly big on my mind, the star is legit a connection to my given middle name, the rainbow is my gay, and that? I just wanted to draw Derek Hale's tattoo, but maybe I have more on my mind than Tyler Hoechlin's back.

I also drew the TARDIS with 'gay' coming out of it in gold, glittering letters from the light.

Later on, I drew this.

Apologies for image size; my phone sucks.

The orange guy was added one somebody asked if that was the hill Jack stands on in Nightmare Before Christmas.

And I realised it was. I'd unintentionally drawn that scene, when he's wondering if Hallowe'en is what he really wants and so on. It's been a while since I saw it, so my knowledge is sketchy.

I started with glittery-green, because I love glitter and find it wonderful. Then a dark blue, because it's my favourite colour, it's stereotypically male. Then I varied, pink and purple, both colours I like but don't wear much. Maybe at my heart I want to be who I am, the out-there kind of guy who will run around in glitter, but I have that feminine side, still, obviously. Everyone who knows me knows I can't be 'masculine' to save my life.

But as we talked, I had that legitimate eureka moment, where I understood, because Jack is raised in a world where everything is spooky and nobody is truly happy about mundane things, unless it's mundane by the town's standards, and he really doesn't fit in, because he doesn't get that as much as they do. Then he finds the Christmas town, and though he goes about it all wrong, he realises that's what he wants.

And he struggles with it, because nobody ever goes against the town like that.

I get that. I'm sure a lot of people do.