Double standards and public assumptions.

When I have kids, I'm going to teach them about double standards, and assumptions when they might be hurtful.

For example, I'll never tell the kid that they aren't allowed to wear the deodorant of whatever gender they aren't identifying as because they are not that gender and never will be, only to wear it myself at a later date and complain about it as if the conversation never happened.

I won't tell them to wash all their stuff up themselves and then leave my own in the sink for someone else. Or ask them not to eat things I've paid for myself and then eat their food.

Because what kind of a lifestyle is that promoting to the kid who's young and impressionable, or worse still, the kid who's in their late teens or early twenties, who can see what a load of crap it is to make demands and move against them as if you're above them?

That makes the kid feel like they're something less than equal in the family, and that's one way to make that kid feel something less than equal in the world.

Likewise, I'll teach that kid (or those kids, let's keep options open) to never just assume somebody's gender, because that's a sure-fire way of making that person feel like shit.

To pick an example seemingly at random; a quick survey, when every question is asked, including age, family size, shopping experience. I'll teach that kid that if they're ever doing those, or know someone who is, they should voice every question, not make an assumption on what gender somebody is by what they think is probably right. If that person is dressed in a masculine way, very clearly has a flat chest and low voice, surely they should be 'male'. Better yet, why not ask? Because that way that person is more inclined to answer honestly rather than make up any answers to the following questions in an attempt to get out of there, and that sample is thereby ruined. Because it was ruined the minute they put the wrong gender in the box. This may or may not be the entire core of the post.

An example like that is a very quick method to ruining a trans* person's day. Someone who's happy in the gender they were born as would probably shrug such an assumption off, grump or laugh about it but ultimately forget it. A trans* person may end up going home and spending a large space of time staring a themselves, wondering what more they can do to be read how they want, and ultimately end up doing everything to avoid doing anything like those surveys again for that one question, where there are only two boxes and very rarely an 'other' option.