That's what I go to school for.

There are a couple of characters I always go to for inspiration when it comes to schoolwork, and I decided to write them out here, so that I can either come back to them later or, I don't know, maybe this blog will fulfil the secondary purpose with which it was created and actually help someone.

So here, in no particular order, is a 10 characters because otherwise this won't ever stop, and some reasons I adore the dedication they have to their work, most of which will probably be based upon fanfictions and loose canon, but that's just how I'm working right now. If I go off tangent slightly please forgive me, it's kind of late and I have a lot of pent up writing energy. Probably some spoilers for each series or story these characters are in, you have been warned here.

Sam Winchester. Sam is wonderful. His family business is killing demons and hunting things, but he decides to get away from all that and go to school. They moved around a lot growing up, so he never really had time to make friends, and both he and Dean had to get their act together each time, try to get as far in their studies as they could before they moved on, and his dad wasn't around much. But you know what, he was going to get into Stanford. He was going to Law school, despite how much it would cost, he was doing it. His brother and father don't want him to do it, but he does. He's one of the smartest kids I know. I'll include a little about Dean here because it isn't strictly work-based, but he looked after Sammy since they were both kids, and his dedication to making sure his little brother was alright, well above his own needs, is what I wish I could have in a brother. I'll always look up to Dean.

Harry Potter (and Remus Lupin?and everybody while we're at it). This was mostly because of Moony. I only recently discovered the Maurader era fanfiction, but I'm very glad I did. Both Harry and Remus have a lot to put up with in Hogwarts. Remus turns into a werewolf every 30 days or so and Harry is never actually allowed one year of normal life at Hogwarts, but they both get through it anyway. I feel so damn sorry for both of them sometimes, like, jesus christ I think school's hard as it is for me, Harry had to face 99 problems every single year. But with the help of their friends, they both manage, and I can't stop being impressed by that. Everyone in those years deserve medals.

Wesley Crusher (and Pavel Chekov). I'm going to go right out and admit I absolutely love Wesley Crusher. He's an important aspect of Star Trek: The Next Generation to me and a reason I fell in love with the series before I discovered my love for Data, and currently Riker. I love him enough that I'm using the actor that played him for my coursework this year. So both of these wonderful boys get to work in the Enterprise (Wesley in the Enterprise-D and Chekov in the original NCC-1701 for anybody that cares, which is probably nobody) before they even hit 18. Chekov is 17, and Wesley is probably like 13 or something when Picard is convinced to let him work, and he dabbles between piloting the fucking ship and working in engineering. Honestly, he pretty much solves the show every episode but the fans seemed not to like him. Being his age and wanting desperately to be in Starfleet, I can only see him as wonderful. As for Chekov, he's adorable as fuck and a goddamn genius. He can lock on to moving targets and beam them aboard, he can sneakily hide behind planetary moons, he can do anything except speak clearly into a microphone and recount realistic facts that don't somehow include Russia. Both of these boys had to work hard to get to their posts, and I'll never stop being amazed that Starfleet even allows that.

Stiles Stilinski. Also Isaac Lahey. Basically most of Teen Wolf except Derek Hale because what the hell does Derek even do in his spare time? But my main worry is for these kids. Stiles is getting through life without his mom around even his dad for a little while, not to mention he's the only one in the pack that's still human and has no special powers or skills. He does all the research and worries about his BFF Scott, and he still goes to school every day, they all do. I worry about how much time they spend in that building both in the day and at night, but I guess Beacon Hills isn't that fun anywhere else. Seriously, though, Stiles and Isaac had a lot of issues at home, aside from the alpha-hunting problems the whole pack has, and they're both doing so well. Isaac ended up living with Scott and probably falling slightly in love with him, but he's fine now. I think they all need more credit for not skipping days because they're so tired all the time.

Leonard McCoy. It is not a good idea to get me started on Leonard unless you have a lot of time and are willing for me to go off on tangents, but as far as his Academy life goes, that's what I aspire towards. Bones joined up to Starfleet after what seems to have been a pretty rough divorce with his wife, and his accent clearly isn't from around the Academy at all, so he's come pretty far up from Georgia. He's terrified of space travel and hella older than his fellow students, than Jim, but he goes for it, he becomes a senior officer and is the best damn doctor they've got. I have this really nice image of him in their quarters, in the evening or something, working through his papers and stuff, trying to ignore Jim's whining about going to bars or something. Though while we're on the subject...

James Tiberius Kirk. He completed a four year course in three, he cheated in the Kobayashi Maru, the text that Spock designed to be unbeatable. He cheated to win it, because he doesn't believe in no-win cenarios. His confidence, self-belief and ability to not give a crap about whatever happened before Starfleet is a major inspiration to me, and I think the legacy of his name speaks for itself because if there's any hard-working Captain out there, it's Jim Kirk.

My Moony. Okay, so she isn't actually a character, she's totally real. But I still count her as one of the most inspirational things/people I know. Despite having anxiety before she knew it's name, despite hating everything about the educational system and coming up against it time and time again, she kept going through each course she chose and taught me that even if you feel like something's going to kill you, getting it done makes you feel better. Unless it's murder or something, though we haven't actually tested that one. So although your last in the list, min lilla banan, you're by no means at the bottom of it. Bet you were getting all sad because I hadn't mentioned you much.


If it wasn't already obvious, I tend to write lists/appreciation stuff whenever I'm trying to avoid doing something but want to feel productive about it. This has been one of those times. Thanks for putting up with my rambles.

I have 99 problems and right now Literature is a lot of them.

I have an exam tomorrow in Literature and I'm scared. I'm scared because sure, I know how to get the grades now, but I don't know how to learn the quotes. I need to be able to cover a lot of themes but I'll only end up using one. I need to write efficiently about Carol Ann Duffy poems so I need to know the poems well enough to look at the blank copy on my desk and work from it. I got a C and a D in the two halves of my mock, and my mate says you always do better in the real thing, but I'm still wary.

I've hardly eaten my dinner because I'm not hungry, I've watched Peter Pan Return To Neverland, drawn me and my mate Ivan as Lost Boys, and listened to most of Hank Green's music since I got home at 1pm, and revised a bit, but I should have spent it all revising. I also planned Ivan's birthday/whatever present, but he isn't allowed to know what it is and I don't know if he ever sees this page.

The problem is that I feel helpless whenever I do because I realise how much there is to know.

But this time tomorrow no more Literature AS level. So that's something.

And Supernatural is to be watched as soon as Moony gets home again, since we always watch together. I can't go on tumblr until I watch it. It's the finale, and I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for the emotional onslaught I'll undoubtedly get, but I'd rather have pain from characters than my actual life.

Motivation Towards School(work).

I've wanted to write something else for a while now, and this is the best topic I can think of.

For me, motivation is very difficult. In fact, I imagine it is for a lot of people. Moony revises and works because of the anxiety and fear of not doing well, but I've never had that. Sure, I fear not doing well, but I can never seem to really do anything about it and it goes away as soon as I distract myself.

Yesterday I was supposed to be doing work due next week, but instead I got my hair cut and took photos of myself as Castiel from Supernatural, after spending the whole afternoon at my friend's house watching League of Gentleman series 2, Doctor Who and more A Very Potter Musical.

I'm not really sure what expression to use so I usually go for 'absent'.

Today I promised to do said work, but it's 3:22pm and I'm about to rewatch Doctor Who while Moony watches it for the first time, and I've been reading high-school setting fanfiction about Supernatural. And that's what lead me to this post.

My forms of motivation come in odd ways. I have my pile of Uni prospectus books beside me, with the place I want to go to most on top, so I can see it. This works as a form of motivation because otherwise I just feel guilty for not working towards those B grades I need.

The High School AUs (Alternate Universe, for any non-fandom folk) make me want to work because I can see these people I admire in similar situations. Castiel, for example, usually is the one to knuckle down and try to work properly, while Dean isn't so much like that. Or Lestrade, from BBC Sherlock, is the kid that gets through the grades but doesn't work too hard, whereas Mycroft gets everything done the day he's set it and properly revises, and eventually encourages Lestrade to do the same.

Hell, Hermione Granger makes revision timetables - that Ron and Harry don't follow - and that makes me feel like I should get something done.

And there's Moony, because we want to live together in Brighton, but that all hinges on me actually getting in. And that won't happen unless I work for it. Having her reminding me that I need to be working encourages me in a way that only wanting to impress your partner and make them proud can.

All the people and characters I admire, they went through what I'm going through, and they did well. I want to be like that, I want to be there. I want to move away and live my life, but I won't get that by lazing around and doing nothing.

Brighton, here I come.

My Subjects Are Bitches To Revise For. (Yet Another School Post)

As my exams get closer to the date I'm on, I keep expecting myself to panic and freak out. To worry that I'm going to fail. After all, I did do rather badly on my Critical Thinking exam in January, which is why I'm resitting in just 28 days.

And sure, I am a little concerned about it. I know I have to actually work for these grades now, even though I spent my secondary school years guessing and charming my way through. I got an A in art but I barely actually painted anything.

The problem is motivation. I'm not sure how much more motivated I can get; I have a photo of me and Moony in front of me, the aforementioned pile of prospectuses (is the singular and the plural the same? Is it prospectus? Prospecti?) beside me, and my planner showing me how many days are left. And yet I always get caught writing here, or working on a poem, searching the Uni I want to go to.

That last one is the worst method, and perhaps the most ironic. There's no point deciding on a Uni if I can't get through my sixth form exams.

It's like my mental state. I'm surprised I've not had a breakdown, or a need to just take a break from life. The only problem right now is that my back hurts, maybe from binding. I can't just wear it for the 8 hours suggested because I'm not home for nine hours from when I leave for school to when I get home. Sometimes ten hours, sometimes a lot less depending on my day.

I have a strange set of subjects. There is no surefire way to revise for any of them. All you can do for Critical is remember the terminology and hope you understand the questions. You could revise all the past paper exams there are and still get questions you're not familiar with. It depends entirely on the sources and the paper. My teacher admitted he sees things in the mark sheet that he hadn't expected.

Media Studies isn't much better. Aside from learning terminology and reading up about a case study I'm interested in (Supernatural for me) I can't revise it. I can practice by writing about any piece of media I can think of, but I'll still get something I've never seen before, possibly in a genre I hadn't anticipated.

English is notoriously difficult to revise. I have quotes to learn, sure, but I don't know which ones I'll need. I'll get an unseen text that is worth a lot of marks and I'll have to make stuff up about a book of poetry I've been studying. Or in language all I can do is learn about gender theorists and hope for the best, and learn grammar terminology.

Why did I have to choose subjects that are so difficult.

I swear to Castiel that next year I'm going to try to revise stuff as I learn it, so this isn't such a problem. And if I could not need to retake anything again, that would be nice.

I was hoping not to have to write a post about school again, because Moony sometimes gets anxiety from it, but at least this is about my education right now, and you're done with sixth form, my love.