As my exams get closer to the date I'm on, I keep expecting myself to panic and freak out. To worry that I'm going to fail. After all, I did do rather badly on my Critical Thinking exam in January, which is why I'm resitting in just 28 days.
And sure, I am a little concerned about it. I know I have to actually work for these grades now, even though I spent my secondary school years guessing and charming my way through. I got an A in art but I barely actually painted anything.
The problem is motivation. I'm not sure how much more motivated I can get; I have a photo of me and Moony in front of me, the aforementioned pile of prospectuses (is the singular and the plural the same? Is it prospectus? Prospecti?) beside me, and my planner showing me how many days are left. And yet I always get caught writing here, or working on a poem, searching the Uni I want to go to.
That last one is the worst method, and perhaps the most ironic. There's no point deciding on a Uni if I can't get through my sixth form exams.
It's like my mental state. I'm surprised I've not had a breakdown, or a need to just take a break from life. The only problem right now is that my back hurts, maybe from binding. I can't just wear it for the 8 hours suggested because I'm not home for nine hours from when I leave for school to when I get home. Sometimes ten hours, sometimes a lot less depending on my day.
I have a strange set of subjects. There is no surefire way to revise for any of them. All you can do for Critical is remember the terminology and hope you understand the questions. You could revise all the past paper exams there are and still get questions you're not familiar with. It depends entirely on the sources and the paper. My teacher admitted he sees things in the mark sheet that he hadn't expected.
Media Studies isn't much better. Aside from learning terminology and reading up about a case study I'm interested in (Supernatural for me) I can't revise it. I can practice by writing about any piece of media I can think of, but I'll still get something I've never seen before, possibly in a genre I hadn't anticipated.
English is notoriously difficult to revise. I have quotes to learn, sure, but I don't know which ones I'll need. I'll get an unseen text that is worth a lot of marks and I'll have to make stuff up about a book of poetry I've been studying. Or in language all I can do is learn about gender theorists and hope for the best, and learn grammar terminology.
Why did I have to choose subjects that are so difficult.
I swear to Castiel that next year I'm going to try to revise stuff as I learn it, so this isn't such a problem. And if I could not need to retake anything again, that would be nice.
I was hoping not to have to write a post about school again, because Moony sometimes gets anxiety from it, but at least this is about my education right now, and you're done with sixth form, my love.
No comments:
Post a Comment