Killing monsters, hunting things... The family business.

I'm starting to really appreciate the lives of Sam and Dean Winchester.

They have everything they need in one place. They don't have to worry about exams - well, Sam did until Dean pulled him out - or any of the normal crap that most people do. Everything they own is in that car or in storage and they only have the minimum. They get by through swiping credit cards and all the hunters keep in contact with each other like some sort of underground community.

Maybe they didn't have an awesome upbringing, spending most of their lives stuck in low-budget hotel rooms while their dad goes hunting.

But they managed, and they're incredibly close. They joke around, tease each other and have arguments, but they will always fight to the death for each other. And have, pretty much every season.

Their dad didn't always understand them, and it was down to Dean to keep Sam safe, but they managed it, they're still managing it.

The complete lack of attachment  is something I would love to have. Just driving and moving from county to county to do what they know is right. Yet here I am, trapped within my house with a group of people that do not understand me at all, and miss the fundamental basics of caring for the youngest in the family.

I got a lecture about why facebook may be worth my time, from my brother, and he started it with using my given name in a patronising tone. I told Moony about it and she suggested I tell him he isn't allowed to call me that. But it's still legal and that's how my family operates. I said that what's important to one person is easily forgotten by another, and the reply of 'not when it's your family' hurt in such a way I hadn't expected. It's not Moony that hurt, rather the realisation of how dysfunctional my family is, and they aren't even aware of it.

But Dean and Sam, they have their family. Bobby says 'family don't end with blood', and I've covered that before, but it's so true. They meet most of their blood relatives through hunting, but there's also Bobby, who was like a dad to them, and Garth, the annoying little brother. And Cas. Lost, falling, angelic, too-much-heart Castiel.

Their life is fucked up, I'll admit it. And it's so dangerous that they've all died, mostly more than once, apart from the Ghostfacers, for some reason (Ghost-- Ghostfacers! are my favourite characters aside from Sam, Cas, Dean and Crowley. They're useless amateurs trying to be hunters but their naive enthusiasm is endearing). But it's also fun, in some ways. They're free to take time off, and to mess around and just be themselves. It's often stressful, but they don't have to go through anything alone, and they're understood by each other. So long as they're willing to talk about their freaking feelings.

Really, they're just two brothers keeping each other going. If I could have that with Moony, I don't think I'd ever want anything else. We wouldn't hunt much, because I don't want either of us to die any time soon, but it would be a hell of an adventure.

I've always been that kid that stares at the horizon and thinks about how amazing it would be to chase it with wind in the sails of the old galleon I was crew of, or something. So it's no wonder, really, that I still dream of it.

Sam and Dean would probably flip if they knew I wanted their life, or willingly give it up. But life-and-death-but-mostly-death aside, it's a pretty sweet set-up they've got.