The dreaded Lynx.

Last Sunday I went on a trip to the Teaching Awards in London with some staff from my old school. It should have been weird but my favourite teacher was there with me, so it was fine. Also, London. Worth it.

But in the morning, before I left, I couldn't find my own deodorant, which is crappy at best, so I grabbed my brother's Lynx. It smells nice, I like it, and why shouldn't I use it? My mother found out, ripped it from my hands, told me I'm a girl and I need to get used to it, and pushed some /dove/ into my hands. Then proceeded to tell me off because I wasn't using it properly. My excuse for that was that I was running late, my shirt isn't exactly loose, and I don't have time to go about unbuttoning my shirt, besides that makes me uncomfortable. As well as all that truth, I'd been binding, and didn't want her to know.

I was so shocked and unable to handle what had happened that I left the house crying silently, unable to see my phone to tell my partner, trying desperately to focus on my breathing. I couldn't stop hearing her words all the way to London, and it put a fair dampner on my day. But I thought that had been it. I was alright, they wouldn't go there again.

The next day mum stopped me on the landing, asked if I was wearing 'it'. I shook my head, she replied 'you must just need a shower, then.' I'm still half torn between insulted and proud because clearly I have a manly musk.

Five or so nights ago I was informed that some new spray had been bought for me, and didn't even bother to check it. I was busy finishing the last few episodes of Supernatural. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't some pink, flowering, 'sensual' spray that couldn't be more feminine if it threw on a little red dress and covered itself in makeup. I was so disgusted that I haven't even touched it.

My friend from my old town is visiting, and uses a spray called Charlie. Completely femme, her mum bought her it, but when she used it my mum called me down and asked, accusingly, if I was wearing Lynx. I said I wasn't, honestly. She clearly didn't believe me, went on to state that smelling like a bloke doesn't make me one and nobody in this house is allowed Lynx, she hates it and my dad isn't allowed it. I'd like to know how my brother owns it then, but okay. Dad informed me it's because my uncle who passed away before I was born used to wear it, but that's no excuse for such hurtful words.

So basically, when I move out, I'm using Lynx. I know smelling like a bloke won't make me one, but it'll sure as hell get me recognised more than that pink thing would. Sexist as it is, women are supposed to feel more attracted to male spray, so why on earth shouldn't they be allowed to wear it? I mean, not that I'm a woman, but my parents seem to think I am. Surely, at 16, I'm old enough to know what I'm doing, to choose which bloody deodorant I want.