Dysphoria

Each time I sit down to type, I don't know where to start, and I have to shut it down. A fair few things have happened so I'm going to section them out. Also for ease of navigation, each post will cover a different thing that happened recently to me that I feel the need to write down.

So now, I'll tackle dysphoria.

Genuinely, it's doing alright. I've not had any major dysphoric moments, showering is actually doing alright. This morning, rather than instantly spiralling into sadness and the helpless feeling I'm used to, I just felt happy as I thought about the day I'll be able to get top surgery, when I'll sit in the hospital with those surgical bandages over my chest, knowing I'm finally where I want to be. On some sense, yes, it's a very long way away, and sometimes knowing how long it will be is enough to make me feel down for hours, but on days like this, I'm fine, the world is fine, and I'm handling it.

This feels like one of those 'it gets better' things. But I guess it does, in the end.