Egotistic or Interesting?

It's somewhat interesting how blog posts can be sparked into my imagination by nearly anything. This time around, totally unplanned, is a conversation I just had with my parents. It was about blogs, and why people write them. I ended up slightly offended and, naturally, decided to blog about it, in a totally non-ironic way.

The conversation revolved around Wil Wheaton, best known for his role in Stand By Me and as ("Shut Up") Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation, and internet sensation as described by Sheldon Cooper. I received one of his books today, called Just A Geek. I read it a few months ago after going to Reading for a University Open Day in which I never actually entered the Uni building and spent the whole time with a friend I was visiting in her dorm room and in the town. There, I found Wil's book in Waterstones, and stole borrowed the online reading code from the back, so it already has some sentimental value before I've actually read through it, and is why I can defend it.

His book is about his blog, more or less. He describes what his thought process was to begin with back in July 2001, how it changed over the years, how his own life changed and he became more confident in himself. I don't know about anyone else, but I think that's wonderful. It's almost painfully personal sometimes in the best of ways, and realistic as all hell in describing how difficult it can actually be to get work as an actor, how tough things can get.

Here's where things got difficult.

My dad commented on how self-obsessed someone has to be to write a blog in the first place, to actually think anyone gives a shit about what they have to say. I disrespectfully disagree. I write a blog because I want to get my thoughts into words, because it's a kind of therapy for me to feel like it's there, I've said it, even if nobody hears. Like talking to your pet or posters because at least you're talking. I'm not self-obsessed, and if anyone does read this, more than the few people I personally know, I hope you get that, and that I'm not doing this entirely to be 'heard'. If I help someone, I'm pleased, even emotionally compromised about it, because I wish I'd had someone around to rely on in my bad times like this, to make like a masterpost for dysphoria. If not, that's cool too. My viewings baffle and humble me every time I look at them.

Some people might write blogs for the attention, and maybe that's how Wil started, to prove that quitting Star Trek wasn't a mistake, but it's also a way for him to show he's still around, and people genuinely love hearing about what's going on in his life. That's not self-obsession, that's proving himself, and it's fact.

And surely it isn't 'the new height of self-obsession' to write about how your blog adapted over the years if people honestly want to know about it. He has a massive following, and all of them really care about him by choice. He isn't imagining people read his blog, the comments and fanbase prove they are.

What's even worse is to assume people write these as a bid for attention, the likes of which they could only have gained by doing outrageously bad things like a killing spree to get noticed. That's just not on.

So maybe it's just me getting easily riled by my parents, always wanting to argue against what they're saying and protect my idols, but I really don't think everyone writes a blog because they're incredibly egotistical and self-obsessed. Or maybe that's just me.

Don't be bored, be awesome.

Sometimes, it just feels like a really nice way to get away from school work, and trans* issues, and distract myself with nerdy, geeky stuff.

I recently discovered Geek & Sundry, which is a youtube based vlog community run by Felicia Day and honestly a world of fun, full of stuff for nearly every cool nerdy side of things from just talking about something to webseries, with a different set of vloggers on each day of the week and one mystery vlogger. 

There’s a girl who talks about comics, the latest out or the series that just ended, and a guy who talks about characters and why they’re so iconic. His episode about the Joker’s laugh is awesome, and I’m not even that into Batman. He’s just that good. And ‘two brokegeeks’ that gives tips on how to still love stuff without needing to spend too much money, and that reminds me, I should borrow my dad’s tablet and get a load of comic book apps.

It’s also the channel that hosts Wil Wheaton’s Tabletop series, where him and some guests play different tabletop games. And a 16Bit series called Outlands, where the ‘heroes’ are going around the universe, and their legit intention is to go to planets, destroy everything, and move on. It’s set out like you’re playing an old game, which is cool.

What I’m trying to say, really, is that this site has been endlessly useful to me, lately. Usually, I get caught on FTMTrans*tastic, which is a fantastic thing in itself, but it always leaves me either really happy or really restless about being trans*. Either way, it always puts it on my mind, makes me feel really strange. I guess being the only one in the house that’s actually interested in my mental wellbeing in regards to my gender has something to do with it.

But it’s been nice to be distracted by comic books again, to watch Wil mess around and suck at rolling dice. I’ve kinda fallen out of touch with that side of my life recently. Hell, I barely have time to watch shows now, and Moony’s well past finished with Heroes while I’m still only just on season 3.

It’s been very strange recently. I’ve got coursework to do, but I can’t find the angle to start on it. Honestly, I’m stressed by it all. I have to start the Wil Wheaton investigation but I’m not totally sure what I’m looking for any more.

My media project should probably get some work, since it’s like half of my grade this year. I’m going to compare Reboot Star Trek to the original series, so I guess maybe I should watch the new films and makes notes or something. Maybe I’ll do that tonight, to feel like I’m making some sort of progress in something.

And I want to apologise if this page seems to have a while back ground to the words. It seems to happen whenever I copy over work that I wrote in a word document, since I wrote this in a free lesson to pass time.